Pregnancy Fog and Nesting. . . 29 weeks

Officially 29 weeks yesterday, and today I feel like my brain has gone on a permanent vacation. So if i ramble or have serious typos (more than normal) please forgive me.

We moved about two weeks ago into a new apartment so I am taking out my nesting needs at home with getting things set up. We had started setting up little mans nursery at home as you see below. However things have changed a bit in the last week. Hubby is going back to more hours at work and so we needed child care. My mother had offered to move out here in and stay with my uncle so she could be child care since she is retired. however it seems the opportunity for her to stay with my uncle has come and gone. Since Hubby and I cannot afford even part time child care right now, mom is going to be moving in with us. Yes into our two bedroom apartment, with three doggies and soon Baby T.

This offers many great things, like knowing if I am too tired to cook my mom would be more than happy to. My laundry will always be done because I am sure with just one baby to watch she will have time. (Mom used to run daycare 7 kids under the age of 2, one baby is gonna be a walk in the park for her, lol) Free child care hello save me $800 a month thank you. And most importantly my mom will be close with her first grandson. Long story short my brother (mothers only other child) has very large stick logged somewhere and had but her out of his life. Myself, my husband and titan are the only family she has really now. So having her around to see her grandson grow and have him really know my mother means a great deal.

The cons to mother moving in . . . do I really need to say them?? We are a young married couple, about to have our first baby.  I love my mother with all my heart don't get me wrong. I just love my husband and our life as well. We are taking things one step at a time, trying to make sure everyone's voice is heard. But one thing that finally hit home this weekend was that the baby's nursery will no longer be just his. With the addition of my mother and a need for a bed for her that kind of takes up the space I have planned to spread out babies stuff. As well it forces us to really, really consider moving again when our lease is up in 9 months. If she stay with us for an extended period of time she and Baby T will need separate rooms.

Jumping a few steps ahead of myself I thought of possibly helping my mom get an subsidizes apartment of her own in a 55+ community so she can have her own space and I can have a space for my little growing family. As a young girl I had always said it my mother was part of the deal with me when I got married she would just come with me. I have been on my own now for four years and now things are a bit different the idea of my mother living with me for the rest of her life is not as simple as it used to seem. Again I love my mother but it is complicated. So what does it have to do with the title you ask? Well it has to do with the interruption in my nesting the baby's room. With my mom about to share that room it seems to have kind of disrupted the desire to set it up as a traditional nursery.

On to the pregnancy fog, if the big changes we are in store for are not enough to send my head spinning, it seems I cannot think straight to begin with. I called an left a message for a customer for my work and had the hardest time spitting out why I was calling, what my phone number and fax number where. Along with that I began to rearrange my desk because I needed to redirect my nesting desire elsewhere.  I feel confused and tired. I wish I had planned for more maternity leave financially speaking so I could take a bit of time off now.  I really miss having a few days to recharge. It seems with growing belly, mommy needs more time to recharge and fight the desire to clean every inch of my house that seems to just get dirty all over again!!!

Ok enough rambling for today, I am sure everything will work out just as god intended because if I have learned one thing in 26 years things do not ever go as I planned but as he planned. And his plans seem to work better than mine do in the first place. So God, I offer my anxiety and endless desire to worry up to you. And say this line over and over in my head,  
"I'll either succeed, or not......worrying about it just distracts me." - Unknown